Zen Of Design

The design and business of gaming from the perspective of an experienced developer

Category: So-Called Humor (Page 7 of 12)

Chinese Crab Catchers Counter Counterfeit Crabs

October 26, 2005 /

China has long had a real problem with piracy. DVDs. Games. Music. And… crabs? My fiancee pointed me to this article on the topic, which led me here.

[W]icked counterfeiters are trying to pass off tasty but mundane crabs without credentials as the elite crustaceans….To fight counterfeiting, the Suzhou Yangcheng Lake Hairy Crab Association now attaches metal rings and logos to the crustaceans for customers to check its identity.

Many hairy crabs are raised elsewhere, but the consensus, or the mythology, is that the Yangcheng Lake hairy crabs are the best — and they cost more. Those who raise them want to ensure that their crabs are recognized as No. 1, and priced accordingly.

Excellent. First off, I love any press that uses ‘wicked’ as an adjective – it’s a style points thing. What’s unclear is how they plan to make these branding implements uncopyable as well.

The Smurfs Get The Smurf Smurfed Out Of Them

October 10, 2005 /

Okay, so I’m sick today, and so it’s entirely possible that this story about the Smurfs getting bombed by warplanes in a TV ad is entirely the product of my twisted and delirious mind.

UNICEF’s first adult-only episode of “The Smurfs,” in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters’ village is annihilated by warplanes, has terrified young children… The reactions ranged from approval to shock and, in the case of small children who saw the episode by accident, wailing terror.

Continue reading

AC2 Quotefile

October 5, 2005 /

Nothing I could say today would amuse you as much as the Asheron’s Call 2 Quote File. Search for ‘OVERHEARD ON THE LIVE TEAM’.

Secret: almost every game has one. They don’t get published nearly as often as they used to, though. Kudos to Turbine for letting it out the door. Ultima Online 2 had one, and a programmer had the guts to post it for a day after we got cancelled, then it was retracted. Ahhhh, good times. (Link found on Corpnews)

The WoW Plague

September 23, 2005 /

Now, I’ve screwed up in the past. Many times. In the MMO space, screwing up is almost inevitable, and the real question is how you respond. But I haven’t yet screwed up enough to get the attention of the mainstream media. In this case, BBC reports on the WoW plague, in an article that’s made more amusing as the BBC reporter grapples with how to explain the wierdness that is already inherent to MMOs to an audience that wouldn’t know them from a game of Q-Bert.

Katrina: the Gathering Card Submissions

September 19, 2005 /

While I suspect the wildfire pace of the spread of Katrina: the Gathering has slowed and overall we’ve jumped the shark, there was enough enthusiasm about new cards that I decided to throw this thread here in case anyone here has an idea. We’re not going to be adding a lot more cards at this point (we added 40 or so over the weekend, and bandwidth is now killing us), so new additions will be reserved for really bone-headed quotes or really compelling images that capture the zeitgeist of what’s going on.

That being said, if you got card ideas, especially images and quotes but also names and pics, post ‘em here and maybe the good ones will join the ranks of lame Internet joke linkage. Feel free to post anonymously if you fear your reputation being destroyed by being attached to such shenanigans.

As a sidenote, Blogpulse says that we’re number 1! Truly, everyone needs more taste.

Original comment thread is here.

Katrina: the Gathering

September 9, 2005 /

I apologize for not being more active lately. To be honest, thinking about game design while the utter disgrace that is the federal, state and local response to Katrina has really been impossible to do. I’ve got 3 half-written posts on the subject, but I didn’t want this to turn into all-spew, all-the-time. I found a way to combine game design and Katrina ranting. You can see the overly nerdy results here. In doing so, I realized that you could pretty much sum up my opinions just by calling attention to the inane, idiotic or heartless quotes made by those who purport to be in control. Thank god Magic cards have room for flavor text.

At this point, nothing makes me angrier than people attempting to claim that the federal government did nothing wrong, and they did everything they could according to their plans and regulations. If that was the design, the design was so incompetent that even more people should be fired. Screwing up under pressure is one thing. Screwing up that monumentally when you have four years to plan for the next catastrophe is quite another. Continue reading

NFL Players Have Opinions on Their Madden Stats

August 23, 2005 /

Another sign that video games have entered the mainstream: people in Pittsburgh are upset that Madden ‘06 gives Ben Roethlisburger mediocre stats – and this made the news.

Incidentally, Roethlisburger has his own critique of the game, which isn’t related at all to his stats.

“I think a lot of guys don’t like it as much because [the new vision cone system] makes it much harder. I know they’re trying to make it more realistic and stuff, but it makes it harder, and I don’t know if it’s as fun,” he said.

Yo, back off, dude. You don’t see me out there trying to do YOUR job.

Just How Far Down Do You Want To Go?

August 8, 2005 /

We worry so much about the children playing too many games. This Smoking Gun arrest report shows that perhaps some ADULTS need to be reeled into reality.

McClain retreated to his basement, where he donned a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets to protect his arms. He also added a giant wooden mallet to his arsenal and beckoned officers to come downstairs and get him. “I’m gonna crush your fucking skulls,” McClain warned. Then, in a nice rhetorical flourish (for a lunatic, at least), he added, “I have a thousand years of power.” That omnipotence, however, was no match for a police Taser

If the Internet has a moral, it’s Scott’s maxim that people are broken.

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