From the aforementioned thread of WoWerized fiction:
To farm, or not to farm: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outraged PVE-ers,
Or to take arms against a sea of mobs,
And by kiting end them? To die; to log;
No more; and by logging to say we end
The grinding and the thousand little quests
That leveling is tied to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to log;
To log: perchance to live: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that life offline what dreams may come
When we have logged off this MMORPG coil,
Must give us pause; there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long grinding
If that’s too much culture… click more for the long one
LOU: I love raids. When we get to the Molten Core, will you tell me the guys’ names on the raid when I go to see them in that deep dungeon I’ll be able to know those fellows?
BUD: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give their characters nowadays very peculiar names.
LOU: Funny names?
BUD: Nicknames, pet names, despite this being an RP server. Now, in the party we have Who’s the tank, What’s the healer, I Don’t Know is the DPS guy—
LOU: That’s what I want to find out; I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on our Molten Core raid.
BUD: I’m telling you: Who’s the tank, What’s the healer, I Don’t Know is the DPS guy.
LOU: You know the fellows’ names?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Well, then, who’s the tank?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: I mean the tank fellow’s name.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The fellow tankin’ the Molten Core.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The guy tankin.
BUD: Who is the tank
LOU: Well what are you askin’ me for?
BUD: I’m not asking you—I’m telling you: Who is the tank.
LOU: I’m asking you—who’s the tank?
BUD: That’s the man’s name!
LOU: That’s who’s name?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Well go ahead and tell me.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The tank.
BUD: Who.
LOU: The tank!
BUD: Who is the tank!
LOU: Have you got a tanker to tank?
BUD: Certainly!
LOU: Then who’s tanking?
BUD: Absolutely!
LOU: When you roll need on a nifty set of plate, who gets it?
BUD: Every time! And why not, the man’s entitled to it.
LOU: Who is?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: So who gets it?
BUD: Why shouldn’t he? And if someone else picks it up, his alt comes down and collects it.
LOU: Who’s alt?
BUD: Yes. After all, the man earns it.
LOU: Who does?
BUD: Absolutely.
LOU: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the tank’s name.
BUD: Oh, no, no, What is the healer.
LOU: I’m not asking you who’s the healer.
BUD: Who’s on tank.
LOU: That’s what I’m trying to find out!
BUD: Well, don’t change the raid members around.
LOU: I’m not changing nobody!
BUD: Now, take it easy.
LOU: What’s the tank’s name?
BUD: What’s the healer’s name.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s the healer.
BUD: Who’s the tank.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD: He’s the DPS guy. We’re not talking about him.
LOU: How did I get to the DPS guy?
BUD: You mentioned his name.
LOU: If I mentioned the DPS guy’s name, who did I say is the DPS guy?
BUD: No, Who’s the tank.
LOU: Stay offa tank, will ya?!
BUD: Well, what do you want me to do?
LOU: Now what’s the DPS guy’s name?
BUD: What’s our healer.
LOU: I’m not asking ya who’s our healer.
BUD: Who’s our tank.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD: He’s our DPS guy.
LOU: There I go, back on third again.
BUD: Well, I can’t change their names.
LOU: Will you please stay on the DPS guy?
BUD: Please. Now what is it you want to know?
LOU: What is the fellow’s name that tanks.
BUD: What is the fellow’s name that heals.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s the healer!
BUD: Who’s the tank.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD & LOU: DPS guy!
LOU: You got a hunter?
BUD: Oh, sure.
LOU: Our raid has got a good hunter?
BUD: Oh, absolutely.
LOU: The hunter’s name?
BUD: Why.
LOU: I don’t know, I just thought I’d ask you.
BUD: Well, I just thought I’d tell you.
LOU: Then tell me who’s playing hunter?
BUD: Who’s tanking!
LOU: Stay out of the the three base roles!
BUD: Don’t mention any names out here!
LOU: I want to know what’s the hunter’s name?
BUD: What is the healer.
LOU: I’m not askin’ ya who’s the healer!
BUD: Who is the tank.
LOU: I don’t know!
BUD & LOU: DPS guy!
BUD: Now take it easy, take it easy, man.
LOU: And the hunter’s name?
BUD: Why.
LOU: Because!
BUD: Oh, he’s the paladin.
LOU: Wait a minute. You got a warlock on the team?
BUD: Wouldn’t this be a fine team without a warlock.
LOU: I dunno. Tell me the warlock’s name.
BUD: Tomorrow.
LOU: You don’t want to tell me today?
BUD: I’m tell you, man.
LOU: Then go ahead.
BUD: Tomorrow.
LOU: What time?
BUD: What time what?
LOU: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s the warlock?!
BUD: Now listen, Who is not the warlock. Who is on—
LOU: I’ll break your arm if you say who’s the tank!
BUD: Then why come up here and ask?
LOU: I want to know what’s the warlock’s name?
BUD: What’s the healer, warlocks don’t heal.
LOU: I don’t know.
BUD & LOU: DPS!!
LOU: You gotta druid?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: The druid’s name?
BUD: Today.
LOU: Today. And Tomorrow’s the warlock.
BUD: Now you’ve got it.
LOU: That’s all. The raid has a couple of days on their team, that’s all.
BUD: Well, I can’t help that. All right. What do you want me to do?
LOU: Gotta druid?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: I’m a good druid too you know.
BUD: I know that.
LOU: I would like to play in the Molte Core raid.
BUD: Well I might arrange that.
LOU: I would like to druid. Now I’m being a good druid, Tomorrow’s debuffing for the team, and I’m druiding.
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Tomorrow debuffs the enemy and the tank taunts the enemy—
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Now when he taunts the enemy—me being a good druid—I want to support our tank, so I change into cat form and goes up next to who?
BUD: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.
LOU: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!
BUD: Well, that’s all you have to do.
LOU: Is to turn into cat form and go up next to who?
BUD: Yes.
LOU: Now who’s got it?
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: Who has it?
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: Naturally.
BUD: Naturally.
LOU: O.K.
BUD: Now you’ve got it.
LOU: I change into cat form and I go up next to naturally to Naturally.
BUD: No you don’t, you go up next to the tank.
LOU: Then who gets support?
BUD: Naturally!
LOU: O.K.
BUD: All right.
LOU: I support Naturally.
BUD: You don’t! You support Who!
LOU: Naturally!
BUD: Well, that’s it. Say it that way.
LOU: That’s what I said!
BUD: You did not.
LOU: I said I’d support Naturally.
BUD: You don’t. You support Who.
LOU: Naturally.
BUD: Yes!
LOU: So I support the tank and Naturally gets help.
BUD: No! You support the tank…
LOU: Then who gets help?!
BUD: Naturally!
LOU: That’s what I’m saying!
BUD: You’re not saying that.
LOU: I support Naturally!
BUD: You support Who!
LOU: Naturally!
BUD: Naturally. Well, say it that way.
LOU: THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING!
BUD: Now don’t get excited. Now don’t get excited.
LOU: I support the tank—
BUD: Then Who gets help!
LOU: HE BETTER GET IT!
BUD: All right, now don’t get excited. Take it easy.
LOU: Hrmmph.
BUD: Hrmmph.
LOU: Now I support the tank, whoever it is taunts the enemy, but the guy attacks the healer.
Who taunts the enemy again but it still attacks What. What casts Fade and in steps I Don’t Know with Cheap Shot.
I Don’t Know Vanishes and Tomorrow’s succubus Seduces the enemy – a triple play.BUD: Yeah. It could be.
LOU: Another guy gets up and attacks Because. Why? I don’t know.
He’s the DPS guy, and I don’t care!BUD: What was that?
LOU: I said, I DON’T CARE!
BUD: Oh, that’s our gnome!
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